Saturday evening we were out knocking doors, when suddenly an indescribable pain came over me. I clutched my abdomen while it felt as if someone was punching me repeatedly. I wound up lying on the asphalt in fetal position while Sister Rust tried desperately to call for help. No cell service. Finally, my sweet companion crouched down next to me and calmly stated that we would just have to wait until I felt well enough to walk. The entire time I was on the ground I was just praying, "please, please help me to make it, just back to the car. I promise I'll take the time to rest, I promise I'll be better about taking care of myself." It was at that moment that I had to truly admit to myself that I have a problem and I can't ignore it anymore...
I have a problem with milk. It's something that I struggled with when I was young, but I thought I had officially grown out of it. Not so. Since I came out on my mission the problem has gotten worse and worse to the point where I cannot have anything with milk in it, or I will suffer from a similar problem that I faced on Saturday.
I don't know exactly why I am facing this hurdle, because, as a missionary, it's hard to control what you eat. But I do know one thing, the Savior knows every pain I face. As I was lying on that street on the verge of tears, my Savior was holding me. He has gone with me to my darkest moments and He will continue to do so.
I imagine one of the reasons I have to deal with this is because I need to really understand His atoning sacrifice, not just understand the facts but truly understand how it applies to me. I know for certain that when I fall at my Savior's feet, He will heal me. I know there are so many others that face problems that are so much more difficult than my struggles, but I am so excited for the day when I can finally have a milkshake again.
I am reminded of a scripture in Ether 12:27And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.
I have a weakness, but the strength the Lord has allowed me is my testimony of His atonement. I can now tell you that I KNOW that Christ knows what we go through, He feels my pains, He cries right along with me. And I know that all will be made right in the end, if it's not right, it's not the end.
He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows,and acquainted with grief; and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.Surely he has borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows;yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.
I know that my Savior understands each of us. I know that He knows our pains and our sorrows and He can heal us.
Don't worry about me, I've been through all this before and I can do it again!
All my love,
Sister Megan Monson