Weak Things Become Strong

Saturday evening we were out knocking doors, when suddenly an indescribable pain came over me. I clutched my abdomen while it felt as if someone was punching me repeatedly. I wound up lying on the asphalt in fetal position while Sister Rust tried desperately to call for help. No cell service. Finally, my sweet companion crouched down next to me and calmly stated that we would just have to wait until I felt well enough to walk. The entire time I was on the ground I was just praying, "please, please help me to make it, just back to the car. I promise I'll take the time to rest, I promise I'll be better about taking care of myself." It was at that moment that I had to truly admit to myself that I have a problem and I can't ignore it anymore...

I have a problem with milk. It's something that I struggled with when I was young, but I thought I had officially grown out of it. Not so. Since I came out on my mission the problem has gotten worse and worse to the point where I cannot have anything with milk in it, or I will suffer from a similar problem that I faced on Saturday.

I don't know exactly why I am facing this hurdle, because, as a missionary, it's hard to control what you eat. But I do know one thing, the Savior knows every pain I face. As I was lying on that street on the verge of tears, my Savior was holding me. He has gone with me to my darkest moments and He will continue to do so.

I imagine one of the reasons I have to deal with this is because I need to really understand His atoning sacrifice, not just understand the facts but truly understand how it applies to me. I know for certain that when I fall at my Savior's feet, He will heal me. I know there are so many others that face problems that are so much more difficult than my struggles, but I am so excited for the day when I can finally have a milkshake again.

I am reminded of a scripture in Ether 12:27

And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

I have a weakness, but the strength the Lord has allowed me is my testimony of His atonement. I can now tell you that I KNOW that Christ knows what we go through, He feels my pains, He cries right along with me. And I know that all will be made right in the end, if it's not right, it's not the end.

Mosiah 14:3-5

He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows,and acquainted with grief; and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Surely he has borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows;yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

I know that my Savior understands each of us. I know that He knows our pains and our sorrows and He can heal us.

Don't worry about me, I've been through all this before and I can do it again!

All my love,

Sister Megan Monson

I Stand All Amazed

Yesterday was Easter Sunday, the day set aside to celebrate the Atonement and Resurrection of our Savior, Jesus Christ. In Church yesterday we sang one of my favorite songs, "I Stand All Amazed."

1. I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me,
Confused at the grace that so fully he proffers me.
I tremble to know that for me he was crucified,
That for me, a sinner, he suffered, he bled and died.
(Chorus)
Oh, it is wonderful that he should care for me
Enough to die for me!
Oh, it is wonderful, wonderful to me!
2. I marvel that he would descend from his throne divine
To rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine,
That he should extend his great love unto such as I,
Sufficient to own, to redeem, and to justify.
3. I think of his hands pierced and bleeding to pay the debt!
Such mercy, such love and devotion can I forget?
No, no, I will praise and adore at the mercy seat,
Until at the glorified throne I kneel at his feet.

In case you haven't noticed one of the ways the Spirit speaks to me is through music. I love this song, I am truly amazed at all the Savior has done for me. Christ is the reason we do all that we do, Christ is the very center of our faith. I love a phrase in Moroni 6:4 

"And after they had been received unto baptism, and were wrought upon and cleansed by the power of the Holy Ghost, they were numbered among the people of the church of Christ; and their names were taken, that they might be remembered and nourished by the good word of God, to keep them in the right way, to keep them continually watchful unto prayer, relying alone upon the merits of Christ, who was the author and the finisher of their faith." 

The "author and the finisher of their faith" Because of Christ we can have faith and that faith can grow. We do not have to stay stagnant, we can always progress and become better. Christ is everything. Because of Him we are able to truly be freed from our sins and become better today than we were yesterday.

I Love my Savior. I am so honored to carry his love to all those I meet. I know He lives. The great message of the Gospel is not just that He lived and He died for us, but that He still Lives, He is our Savior and He is there to help us. He is there to Save us. His promises are for everyone. His grace truly is sufficient for each and everyone of us.

All my Love,

Sister Megan Monson

Learning to be a duck

Once in a while someone just has to pick on you, it seems as if they just see you and think you are a great target. Since I have been in Shelton there has been one of those people who just has to pick on me. We'll call him "BZ." BZ seems to think that I am a terrible missionary, and he often tells me such and makes many other pointed comments to tear me down. If you know me at all, you know that I cannot stand when people don't like me, I always want to do everything I can to fix whatever hard feelings there are. But it seemed like BZ and I could never get along. To be frank I was frustrated, I would come home from church crying because of something he said, I could never quite process why he would say what he would say, and it made me mad.

I decided to try an experiment, we had dinner with the Z family this past week, and instead of talking a whole lot, I sat back and people-watched the Z family, wondering how they treated each other. My amazing discovery was that the Z family treated each other just exactly how BZ treated me, with contempt and criticism. So with that in mind, I realized that it wasn't just me, BZ treats everyone this way, and it made me sad for him. To treat someone that way, you must be really hurt inside.

This began my process of forgiveness, in D&C 64:9-11 we learn a powerful truth:

Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his       brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the   greater sin.

I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of youit is required to forgive all men.
And ye ought to say in your hearts—let God judge between me and thee, and reward thee according to thy deeds.

Someone said something in Relief Society yesterday that really stood out to me, "Forgiveness does not diminish justice, it entrusts it to God." Why would we want to be the judge of someone when we could leave that to God?

I studied this topic the other day and I just loved what True to the faith had to say about it:

Pray for strength to forgive those who have wronged you. Abandon feelings of anger, bitterness, or revenge. Look for the good in others rather than focusing on their faults and magnifying their weaknesses. Allow God to be the judge of others’ harmful actions. It may be difficult to let go of hurt feelings, but you can do it with the Lord’s help. You will find that forgiveness can heal terrible wounds, replacing the poison of contention and hatred with the peace and love that only God can give.

Our Heavenly Father wants to give us incredible blessings, He wants to forgive us. Let me repeat that HE WANTS TO FORGIVE YOU. He is not some unloving God who simply wants you to pay for your sins, He wants to forgive you, He wants you to be made clean and whole. He wants to give you all that He can. But He cannot bless you if you are unwilling to forgive others.

A story often told in this ward goes a little like this:

Sister Brown and Sister Edens were just out doing their visiting teaching, it was a typical day some thirty years ago. As they parked in front of the home of one of the sisters in their care, they were carjacked, and told to kneel down on the street. They were each shot several times, causing permanent damage, fortunately neither woman's wounds were fatal. Unfortunately, both women have lifelong issues due to their wounds.

Remarkably these women were able to forgive those who had caused them such pain and anguish. They still have problems, but their pains are swallowed up in the love of God.

My dear friends, if these women could forgive such a horrible attack, can we not forgive the snide remarks of others? Can we not forgive the person who causes us the most agony of spirit? Can we not let it go?

After suffering the utmost agony in the Garden of Gethsemane, as He was dying on the cross, Christ uttered these, profound words, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” Luke 23:34 If Christ can forgive we can too.

When you pour water on the back of a duck, it cannot stay, it simply rolls off, their backs cannot be wet. So I am learning to be a duck, I am learning to just let the comments of others roll of my back, because in the end it is not actually about me. BZ must be broken inside, and if I let his comment s continue to get to me, I will be broken inside too, and I don't ever want that to happen.

I have run into too many less actives who left the church because someone offends them. My words to them are "It is not the church that has offended you, but the people in it." My advice to all who hold grudges and who are unwilling to forgive because they have been wronged, is to let it go. You will be a better you if you choose to. Don't ever let people get in the way of your own progression.

All my love,

Sister Megan Monson