I'm TRYING to be Like Jesus

I love this photo from the mission Instagram post. I can not express my gratitude enough for an inspired Mission President and his wife who do not give up but continue to follow promptings and serve with little thought of their own welfare and only the care and spiritual health of their missionaries. I can imagine President Leishman standing in the doorway looking upon a few of his missionaries and give great thanks for the moments he has had to spend with them and be grateful for their dedication to the Lord. This touched my heart! There are no coincidences in life, as Elder Hallstrom spoke about in General Conference yesterday. The Lord knows our divine destiny. Feeling so very blessed words can not express how much I love the Lord and how I love those placed in my path and in the paths of my children who help with the miracles we all need so desperately. Sister Lee you are one of those miracles also. How grateful I am that the Lord is a God of miracles! -MOM

out to lunch with Sister Lee between Saturday sessions

After a crazy, insane, totally full week, including a trip to the temple, exchanges, interviews, Sister York's birthday, and everything in between, I had the opportunity to relax, unwind and watch General Conference. What an amazing thing! I love that we have the opportunity every six months to listen to the guidance of our leaders and receive revelation.

My very favorite talk was by Elder Jeffrey R Holland, no surprise there. His words touched my heart and helped me to remember a divine truth. He spoke of the Savior's Sermon on the mount and the commandment to "Be ye therefore perfect."

Ouch. I am so very far from being perfect that I can hardly imagine ever being so. But that is what the Atonement is for, isn't it? Elder Holland proclaimed, "I'm trying to be like Jesus." And that is what I am trying to do too.

I am trying, desperately, to be like my Savior, and I make mistakes every day, but I am trying.

I love the words of the primary song:

1. 1. I’m trying to be like Jesus;
   I’m following in his ways.
   I’m trying to love as he did, in all that I do and say.
   At times I am tempted to make a wrong choice,
   But I try to listen as the still small voice whispers,
2. “Love one another as Jesus loves you.
   Try to show kindness in all that you do.
   Be gentle and loving in deed and in thought,
   For these are the things Jesus taught.”
3. 2. I’m trying to love my neighbor;
   I’m learning to serve my friends.
   I watch for the day of gladness when Jesus will come again.
   I try to remember the lessons he taught.
   Then the Holy Spirit enters into my thoughts, saying:
4. “Love one another as Jesus loves you.
   Try to show kindness in all that you do.
   Be gentle and loving in deed and in thought,
   For these are the things Jesus taught.”

Christ's whole gospel is about Love, and if we are able to love each other, then everything else works out. We are all trying, and that is enough, perfection is an end goal, not a singular event.

In this gospel we get points for trying, there is no first place or last place, we are all in this together! Just like they say in High School Musical! None of us are perfect, and that is why we all need the Savior.

All my love to you,

Sister Megan Monson

See Elder Hollands full talk... it's worth the reread or re listen again and again.

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2017/10/media/session_1_talk_11/5594207155001?lang=eng

Seattle Temple Trip

General Conference at the Presidents Home

Sister York's birthday!

He Once was Broken too

We have a Savior who truly, truly knows what we are feeling, that is the most true thing that has ever been taught. In Mosiah 14 we learn:

3 He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows,and acquainted with grief; and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

4 Surely he has borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows; yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.

5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

Our Savoir truly understands the pains and the sorrows and the anger, everything. I cannot testify of that enough. This week my poor companion got sick. It seems to be going around. So despite caring for her, I still had a bit of time this week to just ponder, study, pray, do whatever I wanted really. After reading those verses, with my heart full of gratitude, I put pen to paper, and wrote out my feelings in verse. So I'm sorry if you don't like poetry! But this one is called "He Once was Broken too."

I feel like I'm broken,

I fall in a heap.

My life is a token

to the one who hears me weep.

He is my Savior,

the great Emmanuel,

but my life has lost its flavor

for reasons I wish he would tell.

I follow in His footsteps

He said, "Come follow me."

and my life has had some mishaps

due to things I cannot see.

I look for His hand

and I plead for His grace

He is in high demand

I simply wish to see His face.

As I ponder and I pray

a thought I come to see.

Could it be just as they say

He was broken just for me?

Could He really know my pain?

Does He really know my sorrow?

What did He have to gain

when I His blood had to borrow?

What a blessing it is to know

He once was broken too

and though my progress may be slow

He will love me through.

It never ceases to amaze me just how much the Savior understands me and what I am going through. He feels your pain, He feels the sorrow, the hurt, the anger. But He also knows the way to inexplicable joy. He loves us!

I love testifying of that truth to everyone I meet, it is the greatest joy to talk about my Savior.

All my love,

Sister Megan Monson

EMERGENCY TRANSFER! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

So, I've been awful lately and haven't written in about three weeks... I'd like to publicly apologize to all of my fans, I know how you all just LIVE to hear from me (this should be read dripping with sarcasm). But really, I'm sorry.

To catch you up to speed, I've had a crazy past few weeks. I got transferred out of Silverdale and down to Parkland in a trio with Sisters Larsen and Powell, we had a lot of fun together and saw a lot of great finding miracles. We were "tripled in" meaning all three of us were new to the area, but we were figuring it out, and having a blast.

We had dinner with Brother and Sister Lee last Sunday, they were in my first area, and their parents both live in Parkland! So I got to see some of my favorite people

Last Monday we had a very special visitor, Elder Benjamin De Hoyos of the Seventy came to speak to our mission. He taught of the importance of providing investigators with opportunities to receive revelation. It was a really cool experience to hear from him. Crazy story time! The night before he came the APs texted and told me Elder De Hoyos had specifically asked to have an interview with me, I was like "Whaaaaat??" So we were able to sit down and talk together, and he told me my cute daddy had asked him to come talk to me while he was up here, and he gave me a picture of the two of them together. What a treat!

I stayed for exactly 11 days in Parkland, on Friday this week President Leishman called me and told me I was needed in the Brookdale ward because a sister went home for medical reasons.

So in a hurry I grabbed all my stuff and moved it... across the parking lot to the Brookdale apartment, in the same complex... that was by far the shortest distance I have ever transferred.

I am now in the Brookdale ward with Sister York! Sister York is awesome, she is from Boulder City, Colorado and went to school at BYU Hawaii. I absolutely love her. We'll be together for about a month before we find out about transfers, and we are going to have a blast. She and her companion were doubled in, but the didn't really get to work because of her companion's health problems, so we are starting from scratch here.

I've had more areas in the past 3 weeks than I had the first 10 months of my mission, and the change is crazy, but it is also good.

I've learned a lot about Love the past few weeks, President told us the other day that you should be able to tell your companion every day that you love him/her. But that love doesn't just go to your companion when you are a missionary, but to everyone you meet. Sister York and I were talking yesterday and she pointed out to me that we love everyone as missionaries, even, and sometimes especially, the ones who don't love us. I have struggled with some companions, but I love them sometimes more than any others. I have love for those who yell at me and don't want me to knock on their door, even after I have walked all the way down their ridiculously long driveway...I still love them.

And if I as a simple little missionary can love people that much, how much more does our Savior love us? I know He loves us infinitely.

Alma 7 says:

11 And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.

12 And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.

13 Now the Spirit knoweth all things; nevertheless the Son of God suffereth according to the flesh that he might take upon him the sins of his people, that he might blot out their transgressions according to the power of his deliverance; and now behold, this is the testimony which is in me.

He can heal us, because HE LOVES us.

All my love,

Sister Megan Monson

Why I Believe Fireside

Sunday September 17, 2017

pyramid!

twiners-not her comp but Sister

God Cannot Lie

Editors note: I didn't publish last weeks letter until this week so if you'd like to go back and read "Shall we not go on in so great a cause?" please do! It may make this weeks letter sweeter and more understandable! Love this amazing missionary who when life throws lemons she makes lemonade and isn't afraid to share what is in her heart! How am I so very blessed?

Yesterday in Sunday school we had a lesson on Honesty. Typical lessons on honesty go about like this:

Teacher asks, "why shouldn't we lie?" and then the class gives the stereotypical answers such as "because God told us not to."

So when the lesson started, I expected to zone out and occasionally comment to keep the lesson going. This Honesty lesson was different though, we started by reading from 

Ether 3:

11 And the Lord said unto him: Believest thou the words which I shall speak?

12 And he answered: Yea, Lord, I know that thou speakest the truth, for thou art a God of truth, and canst not lie.

And it dawned on me that God Cannot Lie to us. He literally can't. There are no "crossies doesn't count"s or half-truths. God will always tell us the truth, no matter what happens, He will not lie to us.

So if that is true, and I know from the depths of my soul that it is, then because God has promised that He will not leave us suffering for longer than we can handle.

My favorite book in the Old Testament is Job. I feel like lately I have understood Job, a lot more because I understand the things he must have felt a little better. Two verses that have really stood out to me lately are Job 11:18 "And thou shalt be secure, because there is hope..." and Job 13:15-16 "Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him... He also shall be my salvation..."

I've been studying a lot about faith lately, and what I've learned is that Faith is trust. So if we have faith, and we all know that if you have faith you also have hope (Moroni 7), so if you have faith and hope, you have to trust God. That has stuck out to me again and again.

God cannot lie, He just can't, so He is the best person you could ever trust. When you are down and out, remember the faith that you have, even if it is small, and know that God is there for you, He loves you.

And I love you all,

Sister Megan Monson

view from apartment

wild blackberries

Llama?

yep Llama!

super beautiful missionary

Shall We Not go on in so Great a Cause?

So for the past several weeks I have been thinking and praying about when and how to send this email. I feel like personal experiences are to be shared with others only when the Spirit prompts me to do so, and the Spirit has been telling me to write this letter for a while now.

I have a problem, yes, this missionary just admitted that she is not perfect. I have a monster in my closet that just won't let me be free, I recently learned that the name of this monster is "depression." Last transfer when my incredibly loving companion, Sister Pluim, encouraged me to get help, I thought that she was crazy. I figured that everyone felt the way I did and this was normal. Little did I know that the way I felt was the furthest thing from normal.

Shock, cannot even begin to describe it. I was stunned when my results were off the charts. To put it in perspective, on the scale they came up with for missionaries, 45 is normal, 80 is debilitating, and 100+ is top priority. I landed myself as "top priority" before I even admitted to myself that I had a problem. But when you sit down in front of a counselor and he asks straight out "how are you functioning? because there is no way in the world that you should be." you kind of start to realize that you have a problem.

I still haven't entirely admitted it. But after months of frustration I have finally been able to put a name to the things I have been feeling, Depression, anxiety, the whole works.

Yes, my friends, I have a problem, but that's okay isn't it? That's what the Atonement is for, that's why we have a Savior.

I love, and have found hope in, this quote by  Sister Chieko N. Okazaki (it's sort of long, sorry):

Well, my dear sisters, the gospel is the good news that can free us from guilt. We know that Jesus experienced the totality of mortal existence in Gethsemane. It's our faith that he experienced everything- absolutely everything. Sometimes we don't think through the implications of that belief. We talk in great generalities about the sins of all humankind, about the suffering of the entire human family. But we don't experience pain in generalities. We experience it individually. That means he knows what it felt like when your mother died of cancer- how it was for your mother, how it still is for you. He knows what it felt like to lose the student body election. He knows that moment when the brakes locked and the car started to skid. He experienced the slave ship sailing from Ghana toward Virginia. He experienced the gas chambers at Dachau. He experienced Napalm in Vietnam. He knows about drug addiction and alcoholism.

He knows all that. He's been there. He's been lower than all that. He's not waiting for us to be perfect. Perfect people don't need a Savior. He came to save his people in their imperfections. He is the Lord of the living, and the living make mistakes. He's not embarrassed by us, angry at us, or shocked. He wants us in our brokenness, in our unhappiness, in our guilt and our grief. 

You know that people who live above a certain latitude and experience very long winter nights can become depressed and even suicidal, because something in our bodies requires whole spectrum light for a certain number of hours a day. Our spiritual requirement for light is just as desperate and as deep as our physical need for light. Jesus is the light of the world. We know that this world is a dark place sometimes, but we need not walk in darkness. The people who sit in darkness have seen a great light, and the people who walk in darkness can have a bright companion. We need him, and He is ready to come to us, if we'll open the door and let him.

I never write about my trials to trigger worry or panic, PLEASE DON'T. I share trials to tell you all that I am real (when I walk off the plane in a little over 4 months, please do not expect me to be perfect!) and to help others to understand that trials are a part of life, and they are okay! And it is only okay because the atonement and the Savior are real.

Often I think we can testify of the reality of the Savior to anyone else, we can tell them that "he's there for you!" but we can't believe that the Savior is there for us. We can't believe that He is there reaching towards us, trying so desperately to help us. A few weeks ago, I could tell anyone and everyone that the Savior is there for them, but for myself, I felt as thought I was alone. But I am not alone, and I know that more than ever.

Often, it seems like the easiest thing to do would be to quit, but as I read in the Doctrine and Covenants, I came across this amazing verse in section 128:22 "Brethren, shall we not go on in so great a cause? Go forward and not backward. Courage, brethren; and on, on to the victory! Let your hearts rejoice, and be exceedingly glad."

Shall we not go on in so great a cause? Is this not worth it? Watching Justyce get baptized last week, I remembered that it is. 

Never forget that God Loves you!

All my love, 

Sister Megan Monson